Converts

A Jew converts to Christianity. The next morning, his wife sees him in the living room wearing his t'fillin and praying in Hebrew.

"I thought you were a Christian now," she tells him.

"Oy," he says, smacking his head, "Goyishe kop."

A Jewish man moves into a Catholic neighborhood. Every Friday the Jew is out at his barbeque, grilling steaks, and the delicious smell of the meat wafts through the neighborhood. The Catholics can't stand these delicious smells while they're morosely eating fish. So the Catholics work on the Jew to convert him. They plead. They threaten. Finally, after several weeks, the Catholics convince the Jew to convert.They take him to a priest who sprinkles holy water on the Jew and intones:

"Born a Jew. Raised a Jew. Now a Catholic."

The Catholics are ecstatic. No more delicious, but maddening smells every Friday evening. But the next Friday evening, the Jew is again in his back yard grilling a wonderful piece of meat, and the scent of barbecue wafts through the neighborhood. The Catholics all rush to the Jew's house to remind him of his new diet. They see him standing over the cooking steak, sprinkling water on the meat and saying:

"Born a cow. Raised a cow. Now a fish."